Three tips for family members of dementia patients
What care is available and how I can support your family during this time
I’ll say this: patience is the number one, most important point of care that dementia patients need. Whether your loved one is in the early stages of dementia or has been living with it for quite some time, here’s what you need to know.
Dementia patients don’t understand why you don’t understand them anymore
Dementia patients have a hard time adjusting to the fact that their loved ones don’t understand them and they don’t know how to communicate this.
That alone makes it much harder for you as the family member or caretaker. They aren’t the same person you’ve known–not fully. So what can you do?
Consistency is key. Dementia patients suffer from loss of memory, but that doesn’t mean that their personality is completely lost. Consistent actions will help them stay stable for longer. Even if they don’t remember or don’t know how to answer anymore, your efforts here will make a huge impact. Stay patient. If it’s available to you, connect with a support group for families of dementia patients. It makes a difference.
Routine is everything to a patient with dementia
Their routines are no longer time based. They’re familiarity based. It is so, so important to maintain a sense of security for dementia patients. Details like working with the same caregiver each time makes a huge difference. It’s not the day or time that they’ll remember. Dementia patients are oriented to people and faces, so the more familiar and consistent things stay, the calmer they’ll feel.
Consistency and patience play a huge roll in dementia care because while a dementia patient will forget to do basic things, they will absolutely remember the faces they see and how they were treated. If you’re acting as a caretaker, you may need to remind them to take simple actions several times. The key is to reroute your efforts and keep trying from new angles, rather than pushing them to do it. They won’t remember that they did or didn’t shower in the morning. They will remember whether you were kind in suggesting it or if you pushed them to do so.
Memories of feeling safe, receiving kindness, and seeing someone often will keep them in a routine that speaks to how their mind works now.
Activities are important!
This can include anything that involves sensory exploration. Looking through old photo albums is a great activity because it encourages facial recognition. Listen to calming music. If your loved one was recently diagnosed, stick to doing things that they’re familiar with and enjoy.
If you’re taking care of a loved one who has long been diagnosed with dementia and sadly no longer feels like the person you’ve always known, there are activity books that can be helpful for cognitive activity. Photo albums are also still a great activity option. I’ve found that some dementia patients love singing stuffed animals. Play around with it to see what they respond to, and do your best to stay in good spirits.
Overall, the best care that can be provided for a dementia patient is to keep them in a routine, have patience, involve them in activities that are easy for them, and keep familiar people around them.
You have to let them lead. As a loved one, it can be so hard to adjust to the grief of watching their dementia progress while trying to provide everything they need. If you’re struggling, I encourage you to reach out for help. Most areas have support groups for families of dementia patients. If you’re on Cape Cod, you are also welcome to reach out to me for professional, compassionate caregiving. Fill out the form below and I will get back to you as soon as I’m able.